


The art of coffee

by vandrell



Series: Punching God and other assorted stories [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Post-Canon, but only sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25741186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vandrell/pseuds/vandrell
Summary: Zuko and Roy bondto Ed's horror and Toph's delight.
Relationships: Zuko & Roy Mustang
Series: Punching God and other assorted stories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823320
Comments: 36
Kudos: 149
Collections: Quality Fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I attempted to be funny but me writing Zuko and Mustang in the same room apparently does not result in humour. But I tried so oh well.

Roy looks carefully over the top of his mug at the young (why were they all so _young_ ) boy across from him. The boy, Zuko, seems to be from a similar place as Toph, though his _‘bending’_ seems to be fire. 

Which seems to have amused Ed greatly, if the snickers that Ed had barely even tried to muffle were any indication. Likely, Ed expected Roy to interrogate Zuko on his fire bending but Roy had bigger plans.

Toph had referred to Zuko as ‘ _Fire Lord_ Sparky’ which means that the young man in front of him holds a high position of nobility, if not the highest, judging by the tone of Toph’s voice. Roy would never turn down the opportunity to... _network_ with anyone in a position of power. You never know when one might need to call on that connection. 

“So,” Roy starts, “I hear that you and Toph are from different nations?” 

He lifts an eyebrow, hoping to prompt the teenager to say more than Toph had. But Zuko looks up from where he's been intently examining the coffee and asks, “What is this?” 

Roy feels his heart stop. _No_. Coffee is sacred and must be shared. 

Zuko sniffs the mug carefully, eyeing it as if it’s a homunculi that just emerged from the shadows. 

Slowly, Roy places his mug down and says, “It’s coffee.” 

“Coffee?” Zuko looks up, “Wasn’t that lost with the airbenders?” 

Roy blinks. 

“Ah, right. You don’t have bending here.” Zuko’s face twists. 

“Regardless, it’s not poisoned,” Zuko flinches, clearly not expecting to have been seen through, “and it’s actually quite good if I do say so myself.” 

“Is it anything like tea?” 

“Not at all.” 

Zuko’s face brightens and he takes a sip. Roy watches carefully as Zuko’s face twitches through a variety of expressions before landing on forced pleasure. He sighs internally, perhaps Zuko would benefit more from Roy’s advice on _getting a damn poker face_. 

“It’s…” 

Roy smothers a laugh at Zuko’s attempt at diplomacy. It’s like watching Ed the first time there was a military ball and Al wasn’t around to run interference. 

“Not to worry. Feel free to add sugar or milk to your taste,” Roy gestures at the set-up on his desk. “I hear you’re a Fire Lord? Could you explain to me what that means?” 

As he pours (an excessive amount in Roy’s opinion) sugar into the mug, Zuko says, “I’m _the_ Fire Lord.”

 _Interesting_. “Do all of the nations in your world have a single ruler?” 

“Just the Fire Nation. The Earth Kingdom has different cities that are ruled separately and the Water Tribe is split into the North and South. But Aang has been trying to unify all of the nations.” 

“You mentioned airbenders?” 

Zuko’s mouth twists into a frown. “Gone.” 

Roy waits for Zuko to elaborate but there is no further explanation. Nodding to himself and filing that under a ‘ _probably like Ishval_ ’ event, Roy nods to Zuko’s coffee. “How is it now?” 

“Much better.” Zuko cradles the mug in his hands, taking slow sips. 

“Toph mentioned that you just finished a war.” _Well_ , Toph did not but Roy can extrapolate from what she did _not_ say and what her and Zuko’s conversations were like. 

Zuko frowns and stares at Roy for a long moment. “What else did Toph say?” 

_Hm_ , perhaps Zuko isn’t as clueless to political machinations as he seemed. 

“Not much. She seemed to delight in scaring all of my men on the parade grounds.” 

Zuko snorts. “Toph likes to see how far she can make someone jump.” 

“As does Ed.” Roy stares past Zuko as he contemplates what new reports are going to land on his desk because of those two. “They’re going to be terrible together.” 

“I’ve learned to just let Toph do what she wants.”

“Unfortunately, whatever Ed does usually lands on my desk as a report in some form of another. And then I have to endure all my subordinates complaining about the extra work he’s caused. Not to mention all of the other higher ups that hate him.” 

Zuko hums. “Can’t you get rid of them?” 

“Unfortunately it takes a lot more effort and maneuvering than ‘just getting rid of them’.” 

“Ah.”

Roy narrows his eyes. “Can _you_ just get rid of someone?” 

“Usually.” Zuko shrugs. “Sometimes they want to have an Agni Kai because they preferred my father or sister. But now that they know that Aang or Katara or Toph are _more_ than willing to act as my second they’re much more hesitant since the first few people were, uh, not in good shape?” 

_Hereditary position_. Roy does not envy Zuko at all. Amestris’s system might be terrible but at least it was (mostly) merit-based. Or merit-based in the sense that if you were good at manipulating or bribing you could get to where you want. 

“Fascinating. Can you just challenge whoever you want?” 

“I guess.” Zuko looks down. “Usually there has to be some slight against someone’s _honor_ ,” he spits the word, “but most people don’t generally challenge the Fire Lord.” 

Roy hums in thought. “Unfortunately I’m not allowed to just fire people I don’t agree with, though perhaps when I’m Fuhrer that should be my first piece of legislation. Not that that will be allowed to happen.” 

Zuko looks up curiously. “How _do_ you structure your government here?” 

“That is a can of worms you don’t want to open.” Roy rolls his eyes.

“Perhaps, but Aang wants to create a new nation from our colonies and I’ve been looking at our historical scrolls but the Fire Nation hasn’t changed much about how it’s operated ever, if at all.”

Roy drums his fingers against his desk. Maybe this would be an excellent thought experiment that could serve as a precursor to when he becomes Fuhrer. 

“I might be able to help.”


	2. Fiiiiiiiiire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, the nice warmth of some fire burning something down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was languishing in my drafts since I am suffering through nano right now but I wanted to yeet this into the void so enjoy.

Zuko stares curiously at the inscription on the back of the spotless white gloves that Mustang wears. Rather than the inscription, which is interesting in its own right, Zuko is fascinated by the pure white that the gloves are. It clearly shows that Mustang is in a position of power and doesn’t get his hands dirty, figuratively and literally. Which Zuko has reservations towards however. 

Though the set up of the government in _Amestris_ , as it’s supposedly called, is something that Zuko cannot wrap his head around. But is most definitely something he’s excited to learn about so that he can bring those ideas home. 

Mustang’s hands tense and Zuko realizes he’s been staring for too long. 

“How di -”

“They’re proprietary.” 

Zuko blinks. “The white gloves?” 

“ _Gloves_?” Mustang pauses and his eyebrows furrow. “Oh. You don’t have white fabric in the… Fire Nation?” 

“Not that we don’t have it, but rather that we,” Zuko frowns as he tries to figure out how to word what he wants to say, “don’t use it except for special occasions.” _Or if you’re a Noble_.

Mustang stares at Zuko for a long second and Zuko suppresses the reflexive shudder at the calculating look in his eyes. It really reminds him of Azula...but more restrained at least. 

(Thank the spirits Mustang doesn’t remind Zuko _exactly_ of Azula otherwise he’s not sure what he’d have done when he was first brought to him by Toph.” 

“Interesting,” is all Mustang says before falling silent again.

“Proprietary?” Zuko rolls the strange word around in his mouth. 

Mustang lifts an eyebrow before explaining, “The inscription is mine. There are licenses that dictate they are mine and that no one else is allowed to use it.” 

“...Why?” Zuko does not understand why this is so important, and he _knows_ it is because Mustang has that same tone of voice that Azula does (did) when she was staking her claim. 

“I refined it. And it’s _mine_ ,” he pauses and cocks his head to the side, “Well, it’s not necessarily copyrighted as none of the State Alchemists would be willing to give anyone in Command access to their arrays. But regardless, it’s mine.” 

Zuko nods. He’s not quite sure _what_ Mustang is talking about but he has a feeling it has something to do with why Toph was laughing so hard when she dumped him in Mustang’s office. 

“What does it do? If it even does something?” Zuko flushes and stammers, “Not that it _has_ to do something but rather that I’m don’t know if it’s _meant_ to do something and -”

Mustang holds up a hand and Zuko’s mouth shuts with a snap. He’s sure his face is as red as his scar is now. 

“I’ll show you, but we’ll have to go to the training grounds. I’m afraid Lieutenant Hawkeye disproves of me using my alchemy indoors unless there is an emergency.” 

Zuko nods and follows Mustang out of the office. They enter what looks like one of the rooms his Court Scribes use. 

(Toph had brought him in the direct way - a.k.a through the roof. Mustang had only looked very pointedly at the not-quite-fixed roof before shifting all of his intense focus to Zuko.) 

There are a bunch of people sitting at desks behind metal contraptions that make a lot of noise, pointedly _not_ staring at Zuko. Zuko knows what it feels like when people are staring-but-not at him and he’s glad he’s only gotten more used to it since taking the throne because the stares here feel very much like they want to eat him alive. 

(He’s not really sure how though since they don’t _feel_ or move like benders and don’t even feel like Mustang and the yellow-haired woman who was sitting by the door to Mustang’s office.)

As they walk through the office to another door, Zuko revises that statement. A _couple_ of them feel a lot more ready to be in a fight than the others but not to the same extent as Mustang. 

Mustang leads them down a few hallways until the exit the building and step onto a patch of greenery. Zuko lets out a soft sigh at the sight of the sun - even if it feels different from what he knows to be _his_ sun. 

People dressed in uniforms akin to the Palace Guards walk freely on the greenery, stopping to salute Mustang whenever they pass. 

They finally reach a long stretch of greenery that is mostly clear and has a target of some sort at the end of it. Mustang motions for Zuko to step back behind him and then loudly clears his throat. 

The green space clears _extraordinarily_ fast. Zuko wishes he had the skills and demeanor to clear a space like that. Uncle was also pretty good at getting people to clear out of a hall like that. Hopefully people would start to take him seriously soon. Zuko sighs. 

The people move to the sides of what seems to be a range of some sort and Zuko watches with intrigue as _more_ people start to gather around the edges of the range. At least they have the sense to stay behind the boundary that marks the edges of the live range. Zuko had had to deal with _many_ close calls with Aang and Sokka and Toph wandering into the middle of a live range for whatever reason. 

In front of him, Mustang shifts his weight and raises a gloved hand towards the target. The crowd falls silent and Zuko shifts his focus to the outstretched hand. 

Mustang snaps. 

Zuko feels his focus and senses narrow towards the spark that _whooshes_ into a stream of fire that reaches at least 75 meters. 

His mouth drops. There was no indication of Mustang moving his chi at all. And the fire didn’t feel like any sort of fire that any fire bender had ever made. It had no _energy_. 

“What was that?” he demands. 

Mustang turns to him with an eyebrow lifted, “Alchemy.” 

Zuko tilts his head, confused. 

He can see the moment that Mustang realizes that he has no idea what that is. 

(Zuko definitely knows that this is what Toph was laughing about. There is no other reason that she’d be laughing in such a pointed manner otherwise.) 

“Miss Toph didn’t say anything -” Mustang cuts himself up and shakes his head, “Of course she didn’t. She is the exact same as Fullmetal.” 

Snapping again and creating a much smaller breath of flame, Mustang angles his glove so that Zuko can see the fading glow of the inscription on the back. “Alchemy is the science of altering matter…” 

Zuko listens intently as Mustang explains how alchemy works in terms he is sure are simplified. 

“Where does the energy come from?” Zuko asks, unnerved by the fact that the energy for their form of bending doesn’t seem to come from chi. 

Mustang pauses, brows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

Gesturing for Mustang to take a step back, Zuko walks past him towards the range and closes his eyes, inhaling. Focusing his chi, Zuko brings his hand up and _exhales_. 

Fire blooms down the range, almost to the distance that Mustang’s travelled. 

The range falls immediately silent.

There’s a heavy silence as he turns back to Mustang. 

Mustang’s face is edging towards dark. Pursing his lips he says, “I understand now why Miss Toph was laughing so hard when she brought you to my office.” 

Zuko nods. 

“I suppose you can only… _‘bend’_ fire?” 

Zuko nods again. 

“Interesting. Why don’t we go back to my office to discuss further?” Mustang looks sternly at the now gossiping crowd. 

Ears growing red at the attention, Zuko agrees desperately. 

\---

“It’s quite beautiful, isn’t it?”

The flickering light of the fire casts shadows over Zuko’s face and he smiles. It’s been ages since he’s been able to see such a large fire. 

“You’re sure there’s no issue with this?” He turns to Mustang who is smiling with his armed crossed looking at the burning building. 

Mustang waves a dismissive hand and says, “The building was slated for demolition anyway and I said that I’d take care of it.” 

Zuko turns back to the building. 

“Besides, I’m sure between the two of us we know how to take care of an out-of-control fire.” 

Wincing in memory of his many, _many_ out-of-control fires growing up, Zuko nods. But he hasn’t had to deal with an out-of-control fire of his own making in many years. They’ve all definitely been attributed to Aang. And only Aang. 

They stand in silence as the building crumbles onto itself, creaking and groaning as the wood collapses. 

Mustang sighs as the last wall falls. “Would you like to do the honors?” 

“Sure.” 

Zuko feels for his chi and exhales. The fire winks out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yell at me on [Tumblr](https://vandrell.tumblr.com/)? Or in the comments per usual. 
> 
> ~~I theoretically have more atla fics in progress... we'll see what happens~~
> 
> /vandrell

**Author's Note:**

> Per usual I will take requests/suggestions for this fic because I am so not creative asdfasdfs. ALso there is even less 'editing' than normal so please let me know if something is terrible. 
> 
> [Tumblr](https://vandrell.tumblr.com/)
> 
> /vandrell


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